Five minutes earlier...

“Anyone home?” he heard a voice.

“Yes! Who you?”

“Come on, you know me, it’s your neighbor! Tom!”

“Coming. Wait a second.” He opened the gate and saw an old man. He could not recognize him.

“Tom?” he wrinkled his eyebrows.

“Really? You don’t remember me?” the stranger was grinning.

He stared at him and thought, well, if you say you are Tom, then, you are.

He invited Tom to sit, in a brown chair that was put in his yard and asked him if there was anything that he could help him.

“Oh, don’t worry please, I just come here to kill time...ha-ha...am I welcome?” Tom picked up a cup that obviously was used and started sipping the tea inside.

“Of course, you are, before you came, I was just planning to take a nap...”

Tom stared at him for seconds and said nothing.

Now...

It is half past four right now, they both have ate lunch. It’s cool in the yard and the wind blows from time to time, he feels cozy and so does Tom.

Unfortunately, at this point they both feel that they need to say something to break silence, especially for Tom.

“... you know...I decided not to farm anymore...” Tom says.

“How come?” he asks.

“My son said that he did not want to come home and help me, of course he can’t, he has a proper job in town.”

“Right, then, how much have you sold it?”

“Take a guess.”

“Around... five hundred thousand.”

“More.”

“oh, I was based on the market price, higher?”

“Alright. It’s one million.” he turns to him and says.

“That’s... that’s not bad.” he startles.

“I gave the money to my son.”

“Generous. How much do you left?”

“Four hundred thousand. It’s enough.” Tom smiles.

“Now I even do not know what to do in the day.” he continues, “since...not farming.”

“You know you can, travelling.” he says, “with that money.”

“Not just myself.” Tom signs.

“Take your friends, take me.” He laughs.

“Really?”

“In all seriousness, take me.” He looks like a solemn stamp, which makes Tom burst into a spasm of laughter.

“You’ll grow sick of me.” Tom still smiles, “we are not that close.”

“Wow! You know what? I don’t even know who you are, but I let you in, which indicates?”

“Are you serious now? I AM TOM.” Tom suddenly stands up and says, “indicating that you are a forgettable person, which hurts.”

“Calm down, please. I know my neighbors, Lily, Ruby nose......pinky John and Wong.” Never heard there is a Tom.”

“I see......” Tom squints his eyes and starts walking to the gate, it seems that he is leaving now.

“Hey!”

Tom turns around.

“At least you can tell me when and where have we met before.”

Seconds past.

“Urumqi. The Devil Mountain. 2009.”

He could not remember anything that related to it. It was ten years ago.

“When did you move to here?”

“Last year.”

“How do you know that I am here, too. I mean, why didn’t you come to me when you first moved here?”

“This and that.”

“This and that?”

“Hey, at least I come here, now.”

“But it doesn’t make sense.”

“You haven’t changed at all.”

“Seems that you used to know me well.”

“Now, too.” Tom says.

“But you said we are not close.”

“Right. We are not close.”

“Are we friends?”

“Or what?”

“That’s it. I am done, sorry, um, Tom, right, Tom, I’m sorry, but I can’t remember anything.”

He looks at Tom, waiting him to say something.

Tom stands still, a few steps ahead of him, he could not see his face. It looks like he is shaking right now, laughing? Crying? He feels himself is being tempt to a huge trap, made by the man standing here, the next second, he feels his anger.

“You know what? You can leave now.”

Tom does not move, instead, he turns around.

“I thought...” he stops saying, tears running out from his eyes, streaming down his face, an old, rough face, with a huge nose.

He finds himself watching Tom crying, oddly satisfying, Tom is not a liar, he is not kidding, thank god, he should come forward and hug him, or he should bring him a towel, patting his shoulder and says, there, there. However, the reality is, he just watches him crying, completely unable to take his eyes off Tom’s face.

“I thought you’d be different.” Tom stops his tears.

“From whom?”

“Everyone, including me.”

They become silence again. The sun is setting, a large piece of purple-pink cloud is flowing in the sky, he points it, cocks his head at Tom, “Look”, he says.

They both sit down and look at the sky.

After some minutes, that piece of cloud turns to many small pieces, pale yellow, and then fade away, very quickly.

“I’m a wreck.” Tom says, still looking into the sky, “morally bankrupt, depraved, cynical.”

“You think so?” he looks at Tom.

“I feel I am being sucked into a whirlpool.”

“Why tell me.”

“I don’t know.” Tom murmurs, “Maybe I’m saving myself.”

Pause.

“We could eat some beef, wait a minute.” He stands up quickly without waiting for his answer and walks straightly to the kitchen.

Tom turns his head and watches him going into the kitchen, which is a little independent house that stands right behind where they sat, and here he is, carrying a white plate and the beef is in order, quietly lying on it, seems delicious, Tom feels himself swallowing.

“Try some. It’s good.” he says.

“Thank you.” Tom pinches a piece of beef and chews slowly.

“You made it?”

“Yeah, how’s it?” he asks.

“Not as salty as other beef I have ate before.”

“I used less salt. You like it?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” Tom grabs another piece.

21:55pm, yesterday...

(Tom was writing his diary, a habit that he has kept for fifty years, since age 31.)

I started a little experiment days before, so excited. The thing is, I will go to a stranger’s house every two days, and! Here comes the fun part, I pretend I know them, like years ago, and see what will happen. But the sad thing is, since now, I have entered three people’s home and they all sent me away, tomorrow is my fourth try, I couldn’t sleep now. oh, right, another thing to share, my son wrote to me today, in his letter (I got it at 7am this morning), he said he will probably come here when things settled, marvelous. And, I...

14:05pm, today...

(after lunch, Tom was writing his diary again in his yard)

Woke up on 7am this morning. I feel empty, like someone is pushing me to a deep, deep sea, it’s so dark there, and I want to jump into it, drowning myself and finally be nothing.

My son, he called me this morning, and we had a fight. He won’t come back now, I wish he could never come back, I shouldn’t give my money to him, how stupid. 

I want him to be sorry, like, considerably sorry about what he had said to me. Those ugly words I can never forget.

I bought many sleeping pills and I mashed them into powders. Everything has been done.

I am done, too. Leo Tolstoy is right, he’s always right, a brave man will kill himself cause the true nature of life is unbearable, unbearable at all.

And, I have finally understood that it is all the choices that make a man, truly.

I am just a combination of choices.

And, fuck my little experiment, fuck it.

Now...

“Actually, I want someone to be here, you know, stay with me.” Tom stands up and says.

“You’re leaving?” he asks.

“Yes, I have things to do.” Tom adds, “at home.”

“um...me too.”

“What?”

“...nothing, I mean, oh, its... it’s that I have things to do, like you.” He smiles, “at home.”

“Alright then, see you next time, I guess.” Tom walks straightly to the gate.

“Hey!”

Tom turns around, “You stop me again, with a hey.” He smiles.

“You can stay, if you want, stay over.”

Tom does not say a word, suddenly he feels tingled, “You sure? I fart all the time when I ‘m asleep.”

“Same.” He winkles.

Tom laughs aloud, and then he turns to serious, “It is kind of you, but, no. I enjoy being alone sometimes.”

Pause.

He thinks that he can no longer stay here, or things might be changed, he may choose differently, but there are moments that the deepest inside of you, know exactly what’s a proper choice, which one will not make you regret afterward. And, here is that moment for Tom.

“Hope you can remember me, this time. Will you?”

“The travel, you take me?”

“why not, we are friends.”

He watches Tom leaving, and starts dialing numbers on his mobile phone, after some seconds,

“It’s me.”

“Your father left just now.”

“Take care.”

He hangs up.